A staged image of a chained slave trying to pull free of Satan

New profession = big pay-off

I’m thinking of a new profession: One where I make gobs of money buying and selling something that can be used for 10+ years, and–unlike clothes and cars and oil and food–can be sold many times over for the same price: people. Everyone’s doing it these days. There are 27 million slaves in the world now compared to four million when the practice was legal in the U.S. There’s ample supply and non-stop demand.

Human bondage brings down costs, which increases profits. Minimum wage? How about no wages. Wrap your mind around that, fellow Capitalist.

Here’s where I’m torn: sex slaves or child carpet weavers? I’m working on a cost-benefit analysis, but it’s hard to to get accurate pricing. In a globalized economy, the poorest countries are the best for purchasing–high birth rates, economic desperation, poor quality of life–and obviously the wealthy countries are the best for sales: eager to exploit and the exchange rate is fantastic.

An image of a man in chains in a city
Photo courtesy of Cliff James on Flickr.com

My associates and I have trips booked to Moldova, Burma, India, Haiti, and Ethiopia. Never been to any of these places, so I plan to enjoy my time and see the sights when I’m not at the slave markets. I’ll sample the local cuisine, schmooze with the natives, maybe even pick up on a couple simple phrases in case my slaves don’t speak English. “You’re dirt,” “Trust me, the police are worse,”  and “Don’t bother, you’ll never get away” seem most relevant.

‘Buy low, sell high’ is all I remember from high school economics, which has benefitted me thus far in car parts. I figure it will with human stock, too. Hmm, sex slaves or children, sex slaves or children, the eternal dilemma. With a sex slave, you get more bang for your buck–forgive the pun–but they have a shorter shelf life: HIV, aging, beatings by johns, pregnancy. With a kid, you get ‘em for a lifetime. They might end up with some malady or infection, but you can pretty much work ‘em to death then buy a new one.

Here’s the plan: At first I’ll work my slaves myself, but, within two – three years I should be able to save enough to become an “arms-length Capitalist.” Hey, look at that! I did remember something from Economics 101.

Think you’re not an active player in the economics of slavery? Think again. Be a conscientious consumer.

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