Even the best-laid romances can go awry. And we’ve all given up our dignity for a moment or two in the throes of rejection, haven’t we? I know I have. And so did Peter, who I dated for a total of three weeks.
We met on Match.com, then agreed to meet at a coffee shop a few days before Christmas. Peter turned out to a strapping, sensitive red-head. We had a lust for Dim Sum, past travels to Asia, and an appreciation for meditation in common. Peter had a good job in IT at the university, and taught martial arts in his free time. It seemed like it could be a match.
The day after we met, Peter left to visit his sister in California for the holidays. We stayed in touch via email. Though Peter struck me as intelligent, his emails were rife with typos and made him seem scattered:
Here in San Diego, still not sleeping very well. I managed to get a lesson with my teacher, so now my legs are pretty sore, it’s good tho. You mentioned your a teacher, do you have a specialty or focus? What would be your dream job? Wishing you a happy holiday.
The whole not being to sleep thing was apropos of nothing–he’d never mentioned insomnia before, so I asked him about it.
I have bouts of insomnia from time to time.
I’m happy about my lesson too, I do hope to get a private lesson too, there are some things that came up during the class which I would like to learn deeper about, love a new mystery.
That is so wonderful to hear about your teaching opportunity. I was trying to think about who I might know that you should talk with but it sounds like you are good to go, congrats.
I used to really love teaching, for some reason this recent new gig has me feeling like I am very self conclusion about my teaching, I guess it’s all part of the growth process that happens. What do you think? Do you have definite plans for new years? Would you like to make some plans for next week? I think I have Wednesday and possibly Thursday off.
Huh. OK. Not quite as together as I’d originally thought. Still, I hadn’t connected with anyone in a long time, and Peter seemed like a warm person, an important trait. And I was flattered he already wanted to spend a major holiday together. I figured he really wanted a relationship. Then:
I did not get a ticket but I got lulled over two times already, I think I’m having g some bad juju latley. I am looking forward to seeing you. Oh no battery is dying I’ll finish this later. …
So he had a case of verbal Montezuma’s Revenge. I was 35, single and living with my mom. Who was I to judge?
… It was cold this morning. What a day yestrday, woke up to no hot water in the motel. Got dressed (no shower) and headed over to my sisters house, I was able to schedule a private lesson with my kung fu teacher which was awesome. I wanted to get a shower before heading to that so I stopped back at the motel, but the after was still not working, they offered to let me use another room, the hot water was working in that room but the water valve was broken so I only could get super hot, I use an ice bucket and mixed it with some cold from the sink, it was not pretty but I was able to wash up a little. Returned that night thinking the water was fixed and it mostly was. Half way through my shower the hot ran out. I did not bother to test it again this morning. I’m in a laundry am at now washing cloths, then I will pack, I fly into Milwaukee about 8:45 tonight, and I hope to make my bus to Madison after that. I’m sad the vacation is ovr but happy to be coming back to madison too. I still have not verified what I have off but you may be right I get we’d and Thursday off. I hope e can find some time to hang out and do somthing fun. Have a great day!
When Peter got back, we spent New Year’s Eve together at a mutual friend’s place, then, over the next couple weeks things got more serious. I chose to ignore his text messages begging for affirmation of my feelings and his too frequent phone calls, which, when I didn’t answer, led to rambling voicemails. We took a spontaneous day trip to Milwaukee together and the following week watched T.V. and gave each other shoulder massages. I met his roommate; he met my mom.
At the three week mark, I looked at him and thought, “Hmmm.”
To be continued